


Is Typing...

by GenerallyDisinterested



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2018-08-02
Packaged: 2018-10-26 01:04:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10776237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GenerallyDisinterested/pseuds/GenerallyDisinterested
Summary: EvilSmirk:Everyone describe Arthur in three lettersEvilSmirk:This is not multiple choiceEvilSmirk:There's a correct answerEvilSmirk:3 2 1 GOArthurPenswaggin:madLeanOn:hotNoPainNoGwaine:fatArthurPenswaggin:Leon wins Gwaine has to go back to second gradeLance.A.Lot:Im going to sit this one out...EvilSmirk:Well you're all wrongEvilSmirk:its G A Y





	1. Chapter 1

**STOP TEXTING IN THIS CHAT AT 1AM YOU DUMBFUCKS**  
_[1:05AM]_

**EvilSmirk:** Guys let's play a game 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** morgana shut the flying fuck up I changed the name to that for a goddamn reason you shitting little bitchy bitch

 **EvilSmirk:** Quit whining, Arthur Penswaggin

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** oh my god we've been over this 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i made that damn username in fucking seventh grade you dickwad i can't be held responsible shut the fuck up 

**Lance.A.Lot:** He curses a lot when he's tired 

**NoPain.NoGwaine:** it's funny 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** I'm going to fucking come to all of your fucking houses and break your fucking phones i shit you not 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** for morgana it would be just one room away 

**EvilSmirk:** Incorrect i'm sleeping over at Morgause's tonight smd

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** i call bullshit 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** dad never lets us sleep over on school nights 

**EvilSmirk:** That's why I don't tell him ;)

 **NoPainNoGwaine:** i think its rly hot when youre all rebellious 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** stop hitting on my sister you manwhore I'm too tired for this shit 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** i think leo and percy are asleep 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** let's take some props from them, yeah?

 **EvilSmirk:** Wait we didn't play the game 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** fine what the hell is it 

**EvilSmirk:** Everyone describe Arthur in three letters 

**EvilSmirk:** This is not multiple choice 

**EvilSmirk:** There's a correct answer 

**EvilSmirk:** 3 2 1 GO 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** mad 

**LeanOn:** hot 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** fat 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** Leon wins Gwaine has to go back to second grade 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Im going to sit this one out... 

**EvilSmirk:** Well you're all wrong 

**EvilSmirk:** its G A Y 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** ??? 

**EvilSmirk:** "Do you know how to walk on your knees"

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** wait what nO 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Ohh yeeeahhh 

**Lance.A.Lot:** That Merlin guy 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** ooo nice arth he's cute 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** no no no you guys got this wrong 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i was just throwing footballs at some freshmen to practice my aim and he was trying to be all tough defending them before he knew who the fuck I am 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** it was funny 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** you should've seen his face when i told him i was team captain 

**EvilSmirk:** You're basically gushing over him 

**EvilSmirk:** Gayyy 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** what?? i don't like him 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** I'm making fun of him calm yourself 

**EvilSmirk:** Morgause agrees it's gay 

**LeanOn:** yeah arthur you did ask around for his # after... 

**EvilSmirk:** HA 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** because he's FUNNY 

**EvilSmirk:** Mmmmmhmmmmmm 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** whatever i'm too tired for this bs 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** night jackasses 

**EvilSmirk:** Night gay boy 

_[7:03AM]_

**Perseverable:** jfc i wake up to this lol 

**LeanOn:** you're welcome 

**Perseverable:** nobody text im reading 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** hi 

**Perseverable:** i hate u 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** hjgweygfda 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** jhrehgrbfrjf 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** kjhrejabrfgrehf 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** guys stop I'm trying to workout your texts are interrupting the music 

**EvilSmirk:** Athlete snob 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** gotta stay in shape 

**EvilSmirk:** You're the personification of those student athlete memes 

**LeanOn:** HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA 

**Perseverable:** ok i read it no thanks to any of u 

**Perseverable:** so arth has a crush 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** it's not a crush Percival don't buy in 

**LeanOn:** i have history class with him. 

**EvilSmirk:** ??? we're in the same history class??? 

**LeanOn:** yes but i'm more observant 

**Perseverable:** ok but u can't deny that nothing gets past Leon 

**EvilSmirk:** Fine fine 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** ugh you lucky dicks i have no classes with him 

**EvilSmirk:** "its not a crush" _{suggestive emoji]_

**ArthurPenswaggin:** okay but it's literally not 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i just like to screw with him 

**EvilSmirk:** Take out the with and i'd believe that 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** stop 

**Lance.A.Lot:** You guys text a lot 

**LeanOn:** you wake up later than us. 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Yeah well I live like right next to the school 

**Perseverable:** guys i just pulled up whose here? 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** me come get me out of detention 

**Perseverable:** lol say u have to pee 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** aight meet me in the locker room 

**Perseverable:** k

 **We can't all be neurotypical karen**

_[8:30AM]_

**Hellyan:** merlin where r u? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Sorry Gaius has an emergency surgery so i'll be late 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Tell the teacher for me? 

**Hellyan:** i gotchu 

**Hellyan:** lol thought you were skipping b/c yesterday 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Hell no I already have like twelve absences 

**Hellyan:** I can't believe you called Arthur Pendragon an ass 

**Guine.vere:** I think it's good! 

**Guine.vere:** He's a total bully, it was high time someone stood up to him 

**Hellyan:** you're talking about the man i love 

**Guine.vere:** You don't love him 

**Guine.vere:** You just want to be on the team 

**Hellyan:** alright alright fine 

**Hellyan:** glory, girls and college credit 

**Hellyan:** sue me 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Hetero 

**Guine.vere:** gtg teacher is lookjng 

**Hellyan:** wow gwen actually used text talk and made a typo in the same message 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Yes but it was so she wouldn't get in trouble with the teacher so does it even really count 

**Hellyan:** you have a point. 

_[12:07PM]_

**DragoonTheGreat:** Morgana Pendragon and that redhead quarterback Leon just sat down next to me??? 

**Guine.vere:** Really?! 

**Hellyan:** dude no way 

**Hellyan:** morgana is sooooo pretty 

**Guine.vere:** ....And smart and badass and many other redeemable features that aren't based on her looks?? 

**Hellyan:** I mean yeah 

**Hellyan:** but damn have you seen her 

**Guine.vere:** Where did I go wrong as a sister 

**DragoonTheGreat:** hweukhqfgukea 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I'm so confused??? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** They're being really nice??? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Morgana just suggested I come over to her house this weekend to watch some sitcoms and hang what the hell is happening 

**Hellyan:** is she hitting on you?? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I hope not 

**DragoonTheGreat:** But honestly if I were to go straight (barf) for anyone it'd probably be her

 **Guine.vere:** Yeah she'd be my if I had to pick a girl 

**Hellyan:** it'd be arthur for me tbh 

**Hellyan:** if i had to pick a guy 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Yeah I can see that 

**Guine.vere:** Didn't he hurt you? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Doesn't change the fact that he's hot 

**Hellyan:** rt 

**STOP TEXTING IN THIS CHAT AT 1AM YOU DUMBFUCKS**  
_[12:30]_

**EvilSmirk:** Guess who just got arthur's boyfriends phone number 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** but why tho 

**EvilSmirk:** leo and I sat with him at history

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** no way 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** add him to the chat 

**EvilSmirk** _has added_ **DragoonTheGreat** _to the chat._

**DragoonTheGreat:** ??? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** Dragoon The Great? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Arthur Penswaggin? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i was in seventh grade what's your excuse 

**DragoonTheGreat:** It was my username on a roleplay web sight thingie 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** kinky 

**Lance.A.Lot:** I doubt it's that kind of role-play 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Hi, by the way, Merlin, I'm Lancelot :) 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Oh hey 

**EvilSmirk:** I'm sure you're wondering why we called you here today 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Honestly I'm at a bit of a loss for that one 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** you seem to live your life in a certain extend of being at a loss for things, yeah? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Look i already called you an ass, i just didn't know you were a loaded one 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** a bit of a troublemaker are you? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** A bit of a condesending prat are you? 

**EvilSmirk:** You guys fight like an old married couple m y h e a r t 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** HAHAHHAA LEON AND PERCIVAL FORGOT TO TURN ON DO NOT DISTURB 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** the teacher just fuckin destroyed them and took their phones 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Wait shit did they see my name on the screen? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I'd get in so much trouble if they know I was texting in class 

**DragoonTheGreat:** They barely excused my absences 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** relax they'd probably just give you a slap on the wrist 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Not all of us are solidified here because of money jackass 

**Merthur** _[12:59PM]_

**EvilSmirk:** DONT OFFEND HIM JERK 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** wait what does Merthur mean? 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** i don't get why he got so offended

 **Lance.A.Lot:** So um 

**Lance.A.Lot:** I hate gossip but 

**EvilSmirk:** S P I L L 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Ok so he's close with this guy Elyan in my literature class 

**Lance.A.Lot:** I overheard them talking 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Apparently Merlin lives with this old surgeon whose really good 

**Lance.A.Lot:** The local hospital offered a payed tuition for any high school in the area if he agreed to work for them 

**Lance.A.Lot:** And well we all know Camelot high is the place to go 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** so he's poor 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** no wonder his clothes are so gross and run down 

**EvilSmirk:** "What is empathy" -Arthur Penswaggin 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** oh like you can talk 

**STOP TEXTING IN THIS CHAT AT 1AM YOU DUMBFUCKS**  


_[1:05PM]_

**ArthurPenswaggin:** listen merlin if the teachers give you shit ill tell them it was me 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** they love me 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** you'd probably get a higher grade if they knew we talk 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Oh 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Ok 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Thanks:) 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** whatever 

**Merthur**

_[1:09PM]_

**EvilSmirk:** It's happening


	2. Chapter 2

_Private Chat **C3nDread**_   
_5:50PM ___

__**C3nDread:** hey_ _

__**DragoonTheGreat:** Sorry, who is this?_ _

__**C3nDread:** cenred _ _

__**DragoonTheGreat:** Oh yeah, you go to Camelot too right? _ _

__**C3nDread:** sometimes _ _

__

__**We can't all be neurotypical karen**   
_5:55PM__ _

__**DragoonTheGreat:** Guys???? _ _

__**Hellyan:** wassup _ _

__**DragoonTheGreat:** So you know that guy Cenred? _ _

__**Hellyan:** the one who always got in trouble for parking his motorcycle in a faculty only zone?_ _

__**Guine.vere:** I thought he was expelled, wasn't he? _ _

__**Hellyan:** naw he just never shows up _ _

__**DragoonTheGreat:** yeeeah um he just randomly messaged me??? _ _

__**Guine.vere:** Huh?_ _

__**Hellyan:** what'd he say? _ _

__**DragoonTheGreat:** _[attachment1screenshot.jmp]_ _ _

__**Guine.vere:** "sometimes" Ugh I don't like that _ _

__**Hellyan:** yeah im not getting a good vibe _ _

__**Guine.vere:** How'd he even get your number? _ _

__**DragoonTheGreat:** I don't know should I ask him?? _ _

__**Hellyan:** ya _ _

__

___Private Chat **C3nDread**_   
_6:01PM _____

____**DragoonTheGreat:** How'd you get my number lol _ _ _ _

____**C3nDread:** i have my ways _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Um ok, rephrase, how did you even know who I am? _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** I'm not exactly in your crowd _ _ _ _

____**C3nDread:** i heard some kid tried to pick it w arthur pendragon and hadda find out who _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Ah yes, my one claim to fame lol_ _ _ _

____**C3nDread:** and ur kinda cute _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Well you're not so bad yourself :) _ _ _ _

____**C3nDread:** i know _ _ _ _

____**C3nDread:** so my friend morgause is hosting a whack party this weekend i was wonderin if you wanted to go w me _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Like... As your date? _ _ _ _

____**C3nDread:** you could call it that..... _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**We can't all be neurotypical karen**   
_6:05PM__ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** J,H,WDHGU,EAYFGJ,AERFGA,J_ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** WHAT HAPPENED _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** _[attachment2screenshot.jmp]_ _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Oh my gosh???_ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** I DONT EVEN KNOW HIM WHAT _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** WE'VE NEVER HAD ONE CONVERSATION _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** WHJAT HE JFUCK _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** "Well you're not so bad yourself :)" MERLIN YOU SMOOTH MOFO _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** NO IM ONLY SMOOTH OVER TEXT _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** YOU GUYS KNOW IM AN ANXIOUS WRECK IN PERSON _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** I DONT EVEN KNWO WHY I SAID THAT I D O N T K N O W H I M _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** OKAY OKAY GUYS WE NEED TO RELAX _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** SHE SAYS IN ALL CAPS _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** IM RELAXED IN ALL CAPS _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** THATS NOT A THING _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** YOURE RIGHT BECAUSE THIS IS NO TIME FOR RELAXING _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** MERLIN WHY DONT YOU TALK TO ARTHUR AND THE OTHER IN THAT GROUP CHAT ABT THIS _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** POPULAR PPL KNOW EVERYTHING ABT EVERYONE _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** OK YEAH THATS A GOOD IDEA _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**STOP TEXTING IN THIS CHAT AT 1AM YOU DUMBFUCKS (ok literally nobody has done that in like a week) MORGANA STILL DOES SOMETIMES (f u) (f u 2)**   
_6:07PM_ _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** HI GUYS CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** SURE WHY ARE WE SHOUTING _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Sorry caps _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** So, do any of you know Cenred? _ _ _ _

_____6:17_ _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Okay guys it's been like ten minutes I know for a fact that like seven teenagers didn't all just simultaneously put down their phones for seven minutes _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Sorry Merlin... Um... Cenred is... Not the nicest _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** That's delicate phrasing at it's finest _ _ _ _

____**LeonOn:** he's seriously such an asshole holy shit. _ _ _ _

____**Perseverable:** I'm with gwaine rn and he just threw his phone at the mention of that dickwad _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Yikes what'd he do? _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** merlin why do you want to know _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** _[attachment3screenshot.jmp]_ _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** That's sketchy as hell _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** I'll call Morg and ask about that party _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Am I allowed to ask why you harbor such a violent hatred for him?_ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Um so sophomore year he was actually on the team with us... _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** No way really?_ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** I thought you guys had like an honor code _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** "Team = bros for life" or something_ _ _ _

____**Perseverable:** no no no no he was anything but a team player _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** he would say the worst shit and fujcking make the worst jokes and use slurs and be horrible fuck i wanted to punch that fuckihng fuckboy fugks _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** Gwaine take a lap to cool down _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** yep. _ _ _ _

____**LeonOn:** but yeah we all yelled at him one day when he was being particularly bad and he vandalized the locker rooms the next day and quit before the final game junior year_ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Wow_ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** So i'm guessing I shouldn't go with him? _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** absolutely not _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** No Merlin you have to _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** ???? _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** Morgana have you lost your damn mind? _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** he's not going with him _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** I talked to Morgause and she says he's actually gotten a little better_ _ _ _

____**Perseverable:** a little better would still be rly bad _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** he's not going with him _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Hear me out _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** We can all go _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** im not going to a party w that bitch _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Gwaine there will be alcohol and hot chicks _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** i will consider going to a party w that bitch _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Can two of my friends come along also? _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** wait you have friends _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** _[middle finger emoji]_ _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Yeah you should add them _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat** _has added_ **Guine.vere** _and_ **Hellyan** _to the group._ _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Greetings and salutations _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Was that a heathers reference!? _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Duh! What other teen movie would I quote? _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** isn't that the movie abt a bunch of teens killing each other _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Yeah haha _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Merlin are you going to introduce my new best friend to the group _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Yeah so guys this is Gwen and Elyan _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** They're siblings _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Hi :) _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** hey!!!_ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** oh yeah elyan you were in gym with me last year right? _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** ya haha _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** i remember, you have good form _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** thnx!!!!! _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** you should try out for the team, we're short a man _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** omg ok yeah sure totally that would be great ill definitely do that thanks so much _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** wow _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Haha _ _ _ _

____**Perseverable:** so back on topic when is the party? _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Morgause said Saturday _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Oh yeah by the way Elyan and Gwen you guys are coming too _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** sure _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Um I don't know... Don't those parties usually have a lot of alcohol? _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Usually, but you don't have to drink _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** I never do so that I can drive people back haha _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Oh okay, I guess I'll just stay with you then haha _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Yeah haha :) _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Haha _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Haha_ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** haha _ _ _ _

____**Perseverable:** haha _ _ _ _

____**LeonOn:** haha_ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Haha _ _ _ _

____**Hellyan:** haha _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** ahah (fight the system) _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** You guys are the worst _ _ _ _

____**NoPainNoGwaine:** u love us _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin** _changed the name to **haha**_ _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot** _has left the chat._ _ _ _ _

____**LeonOn:** omg _ _ _ _

____**Perseverable:** d e d _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere** _added_ **Lance.A.Lot** _to the chat.__ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Noooo don't leave me alone with them haha _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Fine I'll stay but just for you haha _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** So guys what are we going to do about the party haha _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** we can get ready at my place haha _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Okay so we'll show up around noon haha _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** yeah that works haha _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** I hate you Arthur _ _ _ _

____**Guine.vere:** Merlin go f*** yourself _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** No need Arthur can do that for him _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** MORGANA _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Hahahaha what do you even mean by that _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** she means absolutely nothing _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** she was joking _ _ _ _

____**DragoonTheGreat:** Lol okay... _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____**Merthur**   
_6:59_ _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** Morgana i will literally kill you _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** But then you'll be sent to jail and you won't get to be around Merlin :( _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** LANCELOT W H Y _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** "haha" _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** But really all jokes aside you and Gwen were getting along well _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Haha yeah she seems pretty cool so far _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** I don't really know her though _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Well you guys can bond at the party ;) _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** are we not going to mention that Lancelot said haha again _ _ _ _

____**Lance.A.Lot:** Are we not going to mention that Arthur's being such a stereotypical protective boyfriend right now _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** wtf I'm just being human _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** cenreds a dick _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** i'd do it for anyone _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** Okay.... Yeah...... Whatever you say bro.... _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin:** you're literally the worst _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** You love me _ _ _ _

____**EvilSmirk:** But not as much as you love Merlin _ _ _ _

____**ArthurPenswaggin** _has left the chat.__ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so yeah!!! Another chapter!!! Yay!!??


	3. Chapter 3

**haha**  
 _6:59AM_

**ArthurPenswaggin:** merlin are you almost here 

**DragoonTheGreat:** No I thought we were meeting at noon 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** yeah but you have to be there earlier 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Why? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** have you ever even been to a party before?

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** I have to prep you 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** you'd die out there on your own 

**DragoonTheGreat:** ...fair point i'll be there in twenty 

_8:52AM_

**Guine.vere:** Aww that's sweet of you Arthur 

**EvilSmirk:** Yeah Arthur is always very sweet to people who he wants to bang 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Can someone please explain why Arthur just grabbed my phone and deleted a message from this chat off of it 

**LeonOn:** he will probably just delete it again if we tell.

 **DragoonTheGreat:** Okay fair point 

**Hellyan:** yo guys gwen and i will be there in 15 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Im omw

 **LeonOn:** just about to pull out. 

**Perseverable:** leo can u pick me up 

**LeonOn:** yea. 

_1:13PM_

**Perseverable:** gwaine where the hell r u 

**LeonOn:** 1 hour and 15 mins late.

**Perseverable:** r00d 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Yeah I mean geez I got here at like seven

 **Guine.vere:** Arthur forced you to... 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Shhh still 

_1:56PM_

**NoPainNoGwaine:** hey guys i just woke up 

**Perseverable:** w h a t t h e f u c k 

**Hellyan:** that's kinda impressive 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** some1 come get meeeeeeeee 

**LeonOn:** omw lazy ass. 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** ily 

_2:15_

**LeonOn:** in the driveway 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** comin 

 

 _Private chat_ **C3nDread**  
 _7:49PM_

**C3nDread:** you here yet?

 **DragoonTheGreat:** Um my friends are just pulling up 

**DragoonTheGreat:** We think we got the place wrong, is it near a warehouse with a bunch of screaming people? 

**C3nDread:** no it is the warehouse with a bunch of screaming people 

**DragoonTheGreat:** What? 

**C3nDread:** you've never been to a warehouse party 

**C3nDread:** they're rad 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Oh wow um okay we're turning into the parking lot 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Are you sure this is safe? 

**C3nDread:** naw but we aint pussies 

**C3nDread:** meet me on the top floor 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Uh okay 

 

 **haha**  
 _8:01PM_

**Lance.A.Lot:** I said do you want to step outside outside so we can talk 

**Guine.vere:** Oh okay sure 

**Perseverable:** ??? 

**LeonOn:** I'm guessing they were trying 2 talk but couldn't here each otha so lance txted that out lol 

**Perseverable:** o ye lolololo

 **EvilSmirk:** Clearly Leon and Percival are already tipsy _{eyes emoji}_

__**Guine.vere:** Has anyone seen my brother _ _

__**LeonOn:** hes w us lol _ _

__**Perseverable:** u becum a txt tlk slut when ur drunk _ _

__**LeonOn:** so do u _ _

__**Perseverable:** lolololol_ _

__**LeonOn:** y r we txtin were rite next 2 each other _ _

__**Perseverable:** o true _ _

__**Hellyan:** wears gwaine lmfamo _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** No Elyan not you too _ _

__**Hellyan:** in my deffensje i didnt no how strong tht drinks was _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** i have eyes on gwaine, he's making out with some blond_ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** merlin where are you _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** merlin? _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** morgana youre not drunk right? _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** No _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** But neither is gwen and lance _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** they're too busy staring into each others eyes _ _

__**Perseverable:** RIP TRU _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** stop drinking guys you'll be inaudible in two more cups _ _

__

__**Merthur**  
 _8:51PM_ _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** morgana help me find merlin _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** Aww did you switch chats so he wouldn't know you care? _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** shut up and help _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** Okay lets divide and conquer _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** I'll check the top floors, you check the bottom and parking lot_ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** ok_ _

__**EvilSmirk:** I found them _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** them?_ _

__**EvilSmirk:** Merlin and Cenred _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** They're technically supposed to be on a date lol _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** ewe _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** whats happening _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** Cenred is talking to someone else, Merlin looks uninterested _ _

__**LeonOn:** sdamnew merulinsjb_ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** s t o p d r i n k i n g _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** Okay I think Merlin is leaving he's whjdbmjefgHGJEGFAEFGHMA_ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** MORGANA WHAT HAPPENED _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** MORGANA _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** MORGANA _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** MORGANA _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** MORGANA _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** THAT DICK JUST FUCKIN GRABBED HIS ASS _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** LIKE STRIGHT UP REAHCED DOWN THER E AND GRABBED IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE _ _

__**EvilSmirk:** EVERYONE CHEERED AND MERLIN JUST LIKE RAN AWAY POOR BBY _ _

__**ArthurPenswaggin:** OH H E L L N O _ _

__

__

___Private chat_ **C3nDread** _and _**ArthurPenswaggin**  
<9:11PM___ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** if you lay one more hand on merlin i swear it will be broken _ _ _

___**C3nDread:** goddamn hop off my dick pendragon_ _ _

___**C3nDread:** A) its non of your business B) we're on a date _ _ _

___**C3nDread:** thats whatcha do on dates ;) _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** he doesn't even like you that way _ _ _

___**C3nDread:** oh really _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** of course _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** even he's not that stupid _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** nobody is _ _ _

___**C3nDread:** how can you be so sure _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** because _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** hes my boyfriend _ _ _

___**C3nDread:** ????_ _ _

___**C3nDread:** then why did he say yes to the date n hit on me???? _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** because he's idiotic and has a tendency to say exactly the opposite of what he means when talking to a stranger_ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** we're working on it _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** but i know he had no interest for you. he told me himself he thinks you're a creep and your hair is disgusting _ _ _

___ _

____Private Chat_ **SISTAASSS**   
_9:32PM__ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** Do you by any chance know why cenred is lying on the ground crying about his hair? _ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** What the fuck?? Really?_ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** Yeah _ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** I have no idea what he's going on about _ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** He's drunk as hell _ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** Give him some water to sober him up and try to get info _ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** Good idea. _ _ _

____9:45PM_ _ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** Okay he's audible now _ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** Apparently your brother is dating the guy he was trying to hook up with _ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** And he insulted his hair _ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** WAIT WHAT _ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** ARTHURS DATING MERLIN???? _ _ _

___**Mor.Gross:** I mean I guess?_ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** HFWAEHRJFG HOLY SHIT _ _ _

___ _

___**haha**  
 _9:56PM_ _ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** ARTHUR AND MERLIN ARE DATING _ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** We are?_ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** Arthur you should have told me, my therapist would be pleased to know i'm opening myself up enough to form a romantic connection _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** look i had to say that to get cenred off your ass _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** literally _ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** Wait what?_ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** Arthur you didn't have to do that _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** yes i did _ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** But why? _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** because _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** you're my friend and i didn't want you to be uncomfortable idk _ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** Really? _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** don't be stupid. _ _ _

___**Hellyan:** d';awww arturs si sqeet _ _ _

___**LeonOn:** j kniown hds a gud guy _ _ _

___**Perseverable:** askgbf thshe that'd!1 _ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** Okkkay we should get these guys home lol _ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** You read my mind _ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** Lance can drive us_ _ _

___**ArthurPenswaggin:** this party sucked anyway_ _ _

___**DragoonTheGreat:** Re fucking tweet _ _ _

___**EvilSmirk:** ^^^ _ _ _

____3:56AM_ _ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** YOOO GUYS I TOTALLY JUST WENT ALL THE WAY WITH THAT HOT BLOND EIRA_ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** o fuck _ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** ur all gone _ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** every1s gone _ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** the party is over _ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** im naked and alone in a warehouse _ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** ..... _ _ _

___**NoPainNoGwaine:** leon can u pick me up?_ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao guys writing drunk leon elyan and percival was fun and gwaine just like hitting everyone up at 3am because he'd totally be that guy
> 
> also cenred crying about his hair and MERTHUR


	4. Chapter 4

**We can’t all be neurotypical karen**   
_6:30PM_

**Hellyan:** GUYS GUYS GUYS GUESSS WHATTTT 

**Guine.vere:** You have an STD? 

**Hellyan:** wtf no

 **DragoonTheGreat:** You’re in love with Gwaine

 **Hellyan:** no but it has to do with gwaine kinda 

**Guine.vere:** Gwaine gave you an STD 

**Hellyan:** GWEN I DONT HAVE AN STD 

**Guine.vere:** Sounds like something that someone with an STD would say 

**Hellyan:** WELL I DONT 

**Hellyan:** BUT I MADE THE FOOTBALL TEAM 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Whaaat?? Congrats!! 

**Guine.vere:** My brother isn’t a wannabe jock anymore 

**Guine.vere:** He’s an actual jock now :,) 

**Hellyan:** I KNOW ISNT IT GREAT 

 

**Foot(suck my)ball(s)**   
_6:36PM_

**ArthurPenswaggin** _has added_ **Hellyan:** to the chat. 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** welcome to hell elyan 

**Perseverable:** yo wtf we havent used this chat since i joined the team last year

 **Lance.A.Lot:** It’s basically a chat only used to add people 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** whatever 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** anyway my dad is out of town and morgana is going to be at some political protest all night, you guys want to come over and celebrate? 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** its against my religion to turn down a party 

**Hellyan:** that would be awesome! 

**Perseverable:** im down 

**LeanOn:** same! 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Sure 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** sweet 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** come on over 

 

**We can’t all be neurotypical karen**   
_6:41_

**Hellyan:** THE TEAM IS GOING BACK TO ARTHURS TO CELEBRATE RN I GTG

 **Guine.vere:** Don’t forget about us now that you’re all popular 

**Hellyan:** ur my sister how could i forget about u 

**Guine.vere:** You’re right 

**Guine.vere:** Don’t forget about Merlin now that you're all popular 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Please don’t 

_12:45AM_

**Hellyan:** are you guys still awake 

**Guine.vere:** Yeah

 **DragoonTheGreat:** What’s up? 

**Hellyan:** so there was a lot of alcohol at the place right 

**Hellyan:** but i didn't drink bc i had to drive back 

**Guine.vere:** Glad to see you're still responsible even though you're a football player 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Well remember he does have that STD 

**Guine.vere:** That’s true 

**Guine.vere:** You should have told Gwaine to put on a condom 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Tsk tsk 

**Hellyan:** wow getting boyfriends have made u guys MEAN 

**Guine.vere:** I don’t have a boyfriend 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Neither do I??? 

**Hellyan:** arthur n lance. 

**DragoonTheGreat:** W H A T 

**Guine.vere:** Lance and I are just hanging out! 

**DragoonTheGreat:** ARTHUR IS NOT MY BOYFRIEND 

**Guine.vere:** And I mean like he’s a super sweet guy and I like him a lot but we don’t want to put a label on things so we’re just going to see what happens 

**DragoonTheGreat:** WHY THE HELL WOULD I EVER DATE THAT COCKY STUCK UP PRAT

 **DragoonTheGreat:** Besides he’s with Mithian now 

**Guine.vere:** Really? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Yeah 

**DragoonTheGreat:** They made out in his car last weekend 

**Hellyan:** man im sorry 

**Guine.vere:** Me too :( 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Lol why are you guys sorry?

 **DragoonTheGreat:** I honestly don’t like him like that 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Like I kinda thought he liked me after Cenred’s party and everything but obviously I was wrong 

**Guine.vere:** I mean everyone thought he liked you after that 

**Guine.vere:** He literally pretended to be your boyfriend 

**Hellyan:** ya

 **DragoonTheGreat:** That was months ago, and he was just being a good friend 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Him and Mithian are perfect 

**DragoonTheGreat:** The cheerleading captain and the football star have to date 

**DragoonTheGreat:** It’s like the law of high school 

**DragoonTheGreat:** People like Arthur and me just don’t work out 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Not that I would even want it to work out because I don’t like him like that and I never will!! 

**Guine.vere:** Umm.. 

**Guine.vere:** Okay. I’ll take your word for it 

**Hellyan:** annnyyywayyyzzz 

**Hellyan:** there were 3 giant bottles of vodka at the party and one of them is completely unfinished they gave it to me to have later

 **Hellyan:** yall wanna have a celebration of our own? ;) 

**Guine.vere:** We are underaged!! 

**Hellyan:** that didnt stop anyone at cenreds party 

**Hellyan:** come on sis live a little 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I’ll try it 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I’ve never been drunk 

**DragoonTheGreat:** And I need alcohol to get that image of me dating Arthur out of my head 

**Guine.vere:** Fine 

**Guine.vere:** I’ll be the designated driver

 **Guine.vere:** Cool, Gauis is out of town, you guys can come here 

 

 _ **Private Chat** _   
_1:30AM_

_3 missed calls_

**DragoonTheGreat:** Arrrttthhhuuujrrr 

**DragoonTheGreat:** pikk up the PHONE 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** the hell merlin? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** JUSST PICK UOP 

_Call Connecting . . ._

**Arthur:** Merlin? What the hell are you doing up at this hour? Isn’t it past your bedtime? 

**Merlin:** [ _slurred_ ] You— you know… You… You don’t have ta’ be such a goddamn prat all the time! You really don’t! You really fucking don’t! 

**Arthur:** [ _chuckling_ ] Woah there, a little drunk are we? 

**Merlin:** We? What does that even mean, ‘we’? It’s not we, it’s me. Merlin. Not Merlin and Arthur. There is no Merlin and Arthur. There’s just Merlin. [ _meekly_ ] Just me…

 **Arthur:** How much did you have? 

**Merlin:** We… It’s the most stupid thing I’ve ever heard… We… 

**Arthur:** I’m guessing you got a hold of Elyan’s stuff? Did you even mix it with anything? 

**Merlin:** What do you care!? 

**Arthur:** Idiot. This is your first time drinking. You have to start slow. 

**Merlin:** Seriously Arthur, what do you care! It’s not like I’m Mithian or anything. There’s no we! 

**Arthur:** Mithian? Merlin, what are you talking about? 

**Merlin:** [ _tearfully_ ] Break up with her. Please. You have to break up with her. 

**Arthur:** What? Merlin! 

**Merlin:** Arthur, just listen, you’re… You’re so — so popular and handsome, and you play football and everyone likes you. Everyone. Even though you’re a prat, everyone likes you. It’s infuriating. 

**Arthur:** [ _confused_ ] Merlin, you should get some sleep. Is Guinevere there? Can I talk to her? 

**Merlin:** —-And the worst part about it is that I like you too. 

**Arthur:** Merlin… 

**Merlin:** Don’t fucking ‘Merlin’ me! I like you, Arthur! You’re the only person who makes me feel… Just… I miss you when you leave a room. I really really do. I miss you right now. You make me feel all… Warm. And you _hate_ me! 

**Arthur:** I don’t hate you, Merlin. 

**Merlin:** Yes you do! You hate me! I love you and you hate me! 

[ _Silence_ ] 

**Merlin:** Oh god. Ohgodohgodohgod…. 

**Arthur:** Merlin… 

**Merlin:** I have to go. I really have to go. 

**Arthur:** [ _defeated_ ] Will you text me in the morning? Just to tell me if you’re okay? 

**Merlin:** No. Yes. Maybe. I don’t know. I just really have to go. 

**Arthur:** Merlin! 

_Call Ended._

 

 _ **Private Chat** _   
_1:55AM_

**ArthurPenswaggin:** are you with merlin right now?? 

**Guine.vere:** No… Maybe… Why do you ask? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i know you guys are drinking 

**Guine.vere:** Crap

 **Guine.vere:** I wasn’t drinking I swear 

**Guine.vere:** Does Lancelot think I was drinking??

 **Guine.vere:** Tell him I wasn’t 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** guinevere im not even with lancelot 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** relax, no judgement here 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** it’s just merlin drunk dialed me and he sounded pretty out of it 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i was just checking to make sure he’s okay 

**Guine.vere:** Um hold on my brother is currently vomiting 

**Guine.vere:** Let me get him in bed and everything and then I’ll go find Merlin 

**Guine.vere:** He didn't like say embarrassing anything to you did he?

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** um 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** naw 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** he just called me a prat and hung up 

**Guine.vere:** Okay good 

 

 _ **Private Chat** _   
_2:06AM_

**Guine.vere:** Where are you? 

**DragoonTheGreat:** imin the basement

 **DragoonTheGreat:** jus leave b me her 

**DragoonTheGreat:** its whatr i deserve e 

**Guine.vere:** Stay put 

 

 _ **Private Chat** _   
_2:11AM_

 **Guine.vere:** I found him and moved him to the bedroom 

**Guine.vere:** He and Elyan are sleeping like babies 

**Guine.vere:** [ _attatchment:1Image_ ] 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** of course merlin is drooling on the pillow lol 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** well tell merlin to text me when he wakes up okay? 

**Guine.vere:** Will do :) 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** get some sleep 

 

 _ **Private Chat** _   
_2:19AM_

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** you have to come home right now 

**EvilSmirk:** ???

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** i need to talk to you 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** im having 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** uh 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** boy troubles 

**EvilSmirk:** JKHEHFRJHEF ILL BE RIGHT THERE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOOO sorry this took me so long to update but I had this idea (finally) and the shit is going d o w n


	5. Chapter 5

**Foot(suck my)ball(s)**   
_6:09AM_

**NoPainNoGwaine:** who wants to come on a run w me 

**LeonOn:** wtf. 

**Perseverable:** who r u and what have u done with gwaine 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** we have a game tonight lads

 **NoPainNoGwaine:** i may b lazy but i take this shit seriously 

**Hellyan:** gwaine im down 

**Hellyan:** i just need a ride

 **Hellyan:** gwen called dibs on the car today

 **NoPainNoGwaine:** heyyyyyyyy leeeoooooonnnnn { _Puppy Eyes Emoji_ } 

**LeonOn:** fine, ill head out in like 5. 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** oh shit i totally forgot the game was tonight

 **LeonOn:** W T F. 

**Perseverable:** who r u and what have u done with arthur 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** arthur forgetting abt a game is the equivalent of me not getting laid 

**LeonOn:** **trying to get laid. 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** shut up and come pick me up 

**LeonOn:** fine fine im coming. 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Arthur is everything okay? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** yeah 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** im totally okay 

 

 **Private Chat**   
_6:11AM_

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i am so not okay 

**EvilSmirk:** Dude it’s too early please have respect for the people who don’t wake up at ungodly hours to jog 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** your alarm is going to go off in like an hour anyway its fine 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** merlin hasn't returned any of my calls or texts 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** hes been shutting me out all weekend 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i sent him funny memes over Instagram and he didn't even like them

 **EvilSmirk:** He’s embarrassed you idiot 

**EvilSmirk:** He confessed his love to you and you didn't say it back 

**EvilSmirk:** Even though you so obviously feel the same way 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i do NOT 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** im with Mithian 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** in fact i was planning on asking her to be my girlfriend after the game today

 **EvilSmirk:** That’s a mistake and I hate you 

**EvilSmirk:** Either come to me with advice on how to profess your true feelings or let me sleep 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** there are no true feelings 

**EvilSmirk:** I’m blocking you 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** if you do that im literally going to come into your room and drag you out of bed   
_Message not delivered._

**ArthurPenswaggin:** let it be known that I didn’t want to do this   
_Message not delivered._

 

 **haha**   
_7:30AM_

**NoPainNoGwaine:** so who is gonna hold the gwaine is my daddy poster at the game tonight 

**EvilSmirk:** Fuck off Janet I’m not going to your fucking baby shower 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Oh god 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Last time she angrily quoted vines was when Uther made her take the blue streaks out of her hair 

**EvilSmirk:** That pissed me off 

**EvilSmirk:** They looked fucking awesome 

**EvilSmirk:** Also I’m mad because SOMEONE fucking dragged me out of bed at 1AM 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** it was like 6:30 chill 

**LeonOn:** why would you even do that. 

**Perseverable:** srsly bro 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** well I needed SOMEONE to talk to and because SOME of the people id RATHER talk to are acting like a complete CHILD I had to settle for my scary sister 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Maybe those people just don’t want to hear your prattish voice 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** wow!!! merlin!!! you’re alive!! 

**Guine.vere:** Why wouldn’t Merlin be alive? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** I mean he’s been pretty inactive on social media lately

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** haven’t you noticed? no returning calls or texts or liking memes…

 **DragoonTheGreat:** I didn’t like your memes because they suck 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** they were hilarious you idiot 

**EvilSmirk:** Girls girls you’re both pretty 

**EvilSmirk:** Can I sleep now 

**LeonOn:** we have school in like twenty minutes. 

**EvilSmirk:** wE hAvE ScHoOl In LiKe TwEnTy MiNuTeS 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** why is everyone I talk to a complete and utter nuisance 

**DragoonTheGreat:** It takes one to know one 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** wow that’s original 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Okay guys 

**Lance.A.Lot:** I think everyone is a little bit worked up over the game tonight 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Why would I be worked up over the game tonight 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I’m not on the team or related to someone on the team

 **DragoonTheGreat:** I don’t even know why I’m in this chat 

**Guine.vere:** Merlin, I was in the chat before Elyan joined the team 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Well you’re Lancelot’s girlfriend 

**Guine.vere:** No I’m not!!

 **Guine.vere:** I mean like 

**Guine.vere:** Nothing has been like 

**Guine.vere:** Um 

**Guine.vere:** Established 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Um 

**Lance.A.Lot:** I mean 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Do you want it to be?? 

**Guine.vere:** Um 

**Guine.vere:** I mean 

**Guine.vere:** Do you? 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Honestly, yes 

**Guine.vere:** Okay 

**Guine.vere:** Sure 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Sure?? 

**Guine.vere:** Yes. YES!!! Lancelot nothing would make me happier!!! 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Haha!! same here 

**Guine.vere:** Haha! 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** i think my testicles just got sucked into my body 

**LeonOn:** shut up it was cute. 

**Perseverable:** they both said haha 

**Hellyan:** lancelot if you break my sisters heart i will kill you 

**Hellyan:** gwen if you break my teammates heart i will kill you 

**Hellyan:** @ everyone in the entire universe if you break up this couple i will kill you 

**EvilSmirk:** I’m way too tired to completely process this but i think this is the part where I say congrats 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Congratulations both of you 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I’m happy for you guys

 **DragoonTheGreat:** But now my point really stands 

**DragoonTheGreat:** So 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Cya 

**DragoonTheGreat** has left the chat. 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** :( i was gunna ask him to hold the poster… 

**Perseverable:** yo arth what is up w him? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** idk 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** why are you asking me??

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** im not accountable for his mood swings 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** rn im focused on the game

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** and after the game ill be focused on my girlfriend 

**LeonOn:** girlfriend? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** im going to ask Mithian to be my girlfriend after the game tonight 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** because she is nice and emotionally stable and she isn't a childish idiot and she actually had good taste in memes 

**Perseverable:** wow everyone is getting coupled up 

**Perseverable:** gwaine be my bf 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** k but you have to hold the poster 

**Perseverable:** bitch im daddy 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** no way 

**LeonOn:** as the designated dad friend shouldn't i be daddy? 

**Hellyan:** dude 

**Hellyan:** “dad” and “daddy” are very very different things 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** ya 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** like, leon and lancelot? dad

 **NoPainNoGwaine:** gwaine and arthur? daddy 

**Perseverable:** **percival and arthur 

**Lance.A.Lot:** No arguments here 

**EvilSmirk:** WHY THE FUCK IS MY BROTHER DADDY 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** calm down 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** ur daddy too 

**EvilSmirk:** Wow just because I’m into BDSM I get stereotyped like this 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** im going to file this conversation under “facts that I really didn’t need to know” 

**Guine.vere:** You guys are ridiculous 

**Guine.vere:** I have to go, class is starting 

**Lance.A.Lot:** Yeah guys take props from my very very smart girlfriend 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** k dad 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** and everyone on the team better be out to warm up the second that school finishes 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** k daddy 

_9:17PM_

**Guine.vere:** Great first half of the game you guys!! You’re all killing it!!! I’m so proud of all of you!!! (Especially you Lancelot  <3) 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** dont text us we are trying to strategize 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** and half of the team isn't even in the locker room 

**EvilSmirk:** What do you need to strategize for 

**EvilSmirk:** You’re winning 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** its sacred to strategize in the locker room during halftime 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** ELYAN AND PERCIVAL IF YOU BOTH DONT GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW I WILL K I L L Y O U 

**Hellyan:** sry man 

**Perseverable:** we’re tryna get a better look at that blond dude holding gwaines poster 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** stop and just get in here

 **NoPainNoGwaine:** arthurs face is getting all red and im scared 

**Perseverable:** usually you would brag abt the person you convinced to hold your poster 

**Perseverable:** whats so special w this guy? 

**EvilSmirk:** I’m suddenly very interested 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** leave him alone 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** hes shy 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i dont give a fuck about who gwaine is daddying on this specific night 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** everyone get in the locker room now 

**EvilSmirk:** Yeah guys go before Arthur’s head explodes 

**EvilSmirk:** I’ll get the deets on the mystery man 

**Perseverable:** u better 

 

 **Private Chat**   
_9:31PM_

**NoPainNoGwaine:** heads up morgana is coming to try and see who u r 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Okay 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I’m gonna put down the poster and switch seats for halftime 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** aight 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** do u wanna talk abt why u came to the game in a blond wig and refused to sit w our friends 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Because people can’t know that I cared enough to come see you guys play 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** and by people u mean arthur 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Yeah 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** ok… 

**DragoonTheGreat:** Remember I agreed to hold the poster so you're not allowed to ask a lot of questions 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** fine fine 

**NoPainNoGwaine:** hold the poster up rly high when i score 

**DragoonTheGreat:** I got you 

 

 **Private Chat**   
_10:46PM_

**QueenOfEverything:** amazing job tonight arth!!!! u totally destroyed!! this was the best anyone has seen u guys play!! 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** thank you mithian :) 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** you girls looked good tonight as well 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** was that a new routine? 

**QueenOfEverything:** yup!! we’ve been practicing it for months now 

**QueenOfEverything:** but we only did so well bc we have such an amazing team to cheer for :) 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** you're sweet 

**QueenOfEverything:** only for u  <3 

**QueenOfEverything:** sooooo 

**QueenOfEverything:** i heard a vicious rumor that u needed to talk to me abt something after the game? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** oh 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** um yeah i actually did 

**QueenOfEverything:** what is it?? :) 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i just wanted to make sure that gwaine wasn't trying to pressure you into holding his poster 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** hes been asking a lot of people and like i wouldn't put it past him to ask a cheerleader lol 

**QueenOfEverything:** oh 

**QueenOfEverything:** um no gwaine didn't talk to me abt that 

**QueenOfEverything:** is that what you needed to ask me?? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** yeah 

**QueenOfEverything:** there was nothing else???? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** nope, nothing that comes to mind 

**QueenOfEverything:** oh 

**QueenOfEverything:** um ok 

**QueenOfEverything:** well is there like an afterparty? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** yeah but i think im just gonna go home and sleep

 **QueenOfEverything:** ok…

 **QueenOfEverything:** well then i might go with vivian and her boyfriend and her boyfriends rly hot and single friend 

**QueenOfEverything:** is that cool w you? 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** yup

 **ArthurPenswaggin:** have fun

 **QueenOfEverything:** fine then.

 **QueenOfEverything:** have fun sleeping. 

**ArthurPenswaggin:** i will   
_Message not delivered._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it going my lads 
> 
> So, both Arthur and Merlin are being kinda annoying and Gwaine is weird. What else is new.

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I had this idea and here it is 
> 
> Sorry if the formatting is weird I'm still working out the whole font stuff 
> 
> Enjoy


End file.
